Catch up on 2022 movies I did not post about
This is what happens when I miss time posting and do not put up my thoughts consistently: movies pile up that I could have reviewed but missed the chance to. Sure, I could go back and write about them later. But I would be posting about X or The Adam Project weeks after they released. At that point these movies are out of the zeitgeist or cultural conversation. I’m trying to stay relevant. (I know that’s rich coming from a blog that only my mom reads and sometimes my friend Michael. By the way, hi, Mom! and hi, Michael!) Alright, all tangents aside, here are a couple of mini-reviews about movies I have not already posted about in full.
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The Fallout
School and mass shootings are far too prevalent for them to stay out of the entertainment industry. Last year we got the abysmal and offensive Run Hide Fight from the Daily Wire itself. But this year Warner Bro’s delivered a strong story about how one deals with the after-effects of such a terrible tragedy. Lead by the strong performance of Jena Ortega and backup Maddie Ziegler, the emotional depth and honesty here are to be applauded. The two leads convey how Gen Z handles trauma with vulnerability and honesty. For a few months, it was the best movie of the year. But we will talk who holds the belt now in a little bit.
8/10
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Death on the Nile
Coming off 2017’s Murder on the Orient Express, my expectations were very low for this retelling of an Agatha Christie classic. But I was pleasantly surprised by the depth of the cast and how well each party played their part in Death on the Nile. It helps when the killer actually makes sense in the end, which is something Orient Express did not do. Gal Gadot clearly has the movie star power, and Kenneth Branagh is having fun here as the hero detective Hercule Poirot. Definitely an enjoyable time.
7/10
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Uncharted
Whether Sony knew Spider-Man: No Way Home would be the biggest hit of the pandemic or not, they doubled down immediately by pushing out Uncharted, starring Tom Holland! All that smells of cash grab to me. But was it? Ehhh…kind of. But it was definitely better than I expected it. Maybe I was still high off Holland’s performance in No Way Home that I was so happy to see him again, but he has a likability and reliability that most stars do not. That same charm that works as Spider-Man worked for me here too. Plus the action was unexpectedly brutal in the final act. Not gory. Just brutal. The story is basically Indiana Jones mixed in with a mentor subplot. Another fun time
7/10
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The Adam Project
Another failed Netflix attempt at star-powered driven action stories. Ryan Reynolds, Zoe Saldana, and Mark Ruffalo pack the cast of this movie and are way too talented or likable to be here. But the sheer stupidity of science in The Adam Project makes me wish for the old days of sci-fi channel originals like Mega Shark vs. Crosaurus. Also the kid who they cast to be a young Ryan Reynolds definitely has some of that same smart-aleck charm, but if it does not work for Deadpool himself then it is useless for a kid actor. Skip it.
4/10
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X
What makes a horror movie stand out in my mind is having a message behind the senseless violence that is happening. All the great classics have meaning behind them to some extent, but X is just a horror movie about people making porno getting killed by old couple because the wife wishes she was still attractive. There. That’s the whole movie. Is it horrible? Not at all. There is actually some pretty good cinematography going on in my opinion. But it is not on the level as some of the other great horror movies I have seen in the last few years.
6/10
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Everything Everywhere All at Once
Best movie of the year. No question. Imagine if Rick and Morty focused an episode on Summer and Beth and how they bonded over how bad Beth is at expressing her love (actually that would be a good episode). Michelle Yeoh and Stephanie Hsu are a dynamic duo as mother and daughter. They play off each other dramatically and comedically as well. In addition, they really convey how emotionally strained their relationship is and seeing them evolve and come together is an amazing thing. Add in some extremely interesting fight scenes and fun camera work/effects and it does make for the best movie of 2022 so far.
10/10
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Firestarter
Honestly, the idea behind Firestarter kind of slaps. Young girl has special powers and is on the run from the government. Over-protective father keeps her safe as best he can but has his own issues too. But the action sequences are comical and so lacking in intensity that I laughed through them rather than watching them. The CGI looks awful and rubbery. The dialogue between characters, particularly one of the main villains and literally anyone he talks to, is so awkward. Zac Efron and the rest of the cast try their best, but this movie is just pathetically made that nothing they could do would redeem it.
2/10
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Downton Abbey: A New Era
What a happy little tale of British drama about family and being proper. Never has this show or its subsequent movies been the most dramatic thing in the world. They are just about the lives of a well-off family and their servants in the early 20th century, and it is fun to go along the ride with them. Their stories are all pleasant and enjoyable with most of them having a pleasing resolution. Plus the dry British comedy works well with the manners we see. It will never win any awards, but Downton Abbey: A New Era has won my heart. Thanks for taking me, Mom.
8/10
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Jurassic World: Dominion
Welcome to the mandatory “bringing the old gang back” stage of the Jurassic Park franchise. This entire rebirth of these dino movies has been nothing but downhill since it peaked at the box office in 2015 with the first Jurassic World movie. Honestly, that entry was halfway decent and made so much money, the last two movies have coasted off of it. Personally, I thought 2018’s Fallen Kingdom was so horrendous that no one would dream to go back to that franchise. But again, Hollywood proves how creatively bankrupt they are, so here we are again. Jurassic World: Dominion is just fine though. The old cast is fine. The new cast is fine. Jeff Goldblum is the still the best part of the movie as he is almost anytime he’s in a movie. I am happy the franchise is going away for a while. Let someone come up with a newer and more fun idea for it and then we will try it again.
5/10
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Spiderhead
Perhaps the most baffling and unique concept for a movie this year. A prison for long-time detainees being used to test experimental drugs on those inmates. Seeing how the human guinea pigs’ emotions are manipulated and modified by drug providers makes for some really entertaining scenes. Add in the over-the-top acting when our characters are on a drug makes for a fun watch. Plus Chris Hemsworth brings his zaney energy to his role as the lead scientist at the prison. Miles Teller is doing his standard Miles Teller thing of being just a normal dude in a ridiculous situation. Jurnee Smollett has the emotional heartbeat of the story down as well. Honestly I can’t accurately describe this experience in the written word. It is just so out of left field that I cannot really compare it to anything. You just have to watch it yourself and let me know what you think.
6/10
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Hope you all enjoyed these mini-reviews! My goal is to be far more available to write full reviews and get two posts out every week unless I state in advance that I won’t be able to.