The 355

Director: Simon Kinberg

Writer: Simon Kinberg and Theresa Rebeck

Starring: Jessica Chastain, Penelope Cruz, Diane Kruger, Lupita Nyong’o, Bingbing Fan, Sebastian Stan, Jason Flemyng, Edgar Ramirez

Reason for watching: new release

Number of times I’ve watched it: First time viewing

***

With the holiday season in our rearview mirror, it is time to get into my least favorite movie time of the year. The month of January is a desolate landscape for new movie releases. Studios are notorious for dumping projects in this month after pushing to make their end-of-year numbers look better. It’s kind of like choosing to start a race with your shoes untied than have them falling off when you are inches away from the finish line. Business-wise it’s a smart decision, but for the avid moviegoer like myself it makes this adventure to the theater a slog. So without further ado let’s talk about the first movie of the year. Let’s hope it’s

The 355 follows CIA agent Mason Browne (Jessica Chastian). After a mission to obtain an internet McGuffin of some kind goes wrong, her partner in the field and lover Nick (Sebestian Stan) is killed. In an effort to stop the organization, Mason partners up with Columbian psychiatrist Graciela (Penelope Cruz), MI6 operative Khadijah (Lupita Nyong’o), and German secret agent Marie (Diane Kruger). Along the way, the team realizes the sides are not as black and white as they thought initially believed.

I do not want to be unfair to this movie. They really did put in some effort, but if an action movie is to be good it has to have good action. And everything about this movie screams bad 2000s combat. It is like a bad version of The Bourne Identity. The action sequences are shot with shaky cam, and it is difficult to tell what is happening with the action itself. It is not for a lack of effort by the cast, who clearly tried hard to get us invested in these sequences. But no amount of bullets and fists can make up for the incoherence that is happening on screen.

Again, I do have to compliment the cast themselves. Chastian, Nyong’o, Kruger, and Cruz are all talented enough to carry a movie on their own or they were in their past at one point in their careers. There are a few moments when they are all together that make for some fun chemistry. Namely there is a scene where they each outline the first successful arrests or captures of their careers. Bingbing Fan shows up later as a Chinese agent who joins the efforts of the team as well, and she is another welcome addition.

Overall the quality and direction of the story really takes away from the movie in general. Each and every plot twist is incredibly predictable. The tension is non-existent when you can tell what is going to happen in every scene. It honestly should not come as a shock to anyone because director Simon Kinberg managed to make X-Men boring when he helmed Dark Phoenix a few years ago.

4/10

Until I see another one

PS - If you’re gonna go the theater right now, just see Spider-Man: No Way Home again.

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