Worst 10 Movies of 2020
Can you feel it, everyone? The trash that was 2020 is over. And yes I know, we are only a few days in, and this year sucks too. But I would like to think of myself as a realistic optimist. So I’m hoping that we can look back at 2020 at the end of 2021, and we will be able to say this year was not as bad. And hopefully, the movies that come out in 2021 will be better. Considering just the massive number of mediocre movies I saw last year, I do not think that will be a difficult task either. But anyway, I’ve seen more than a hundred movies from 2020, and here are the ten worst movies I’ve seen.
10. Monster Hunter
Video game movies are not good because of the vast amount of detail and tone that cannot possibly be translated over into the medium of movies. If a game takes days worth of time to complete a story, you cannot pack all that information into two or so hours. But plot details aside, for a movie titled Monster Hunter we really do not meet a lot of monsters until the last act, and those only exist to set up a sequel. The CGI is fine, but the cinematography has far too many cuts and edits for me to get used to it. The action isn’t mind-blowing either. It’s not complete garbage, there are some nice horror elements, but this is not worth your time.
9. The New Mutants
The Fox X-men franchise is finally dead, and it died with such a whimper. This movie has an extremely sad and complicated release history. Plus the fact that 20th Century Fox was purchased by Disney while this movie was being slated for release only hurt its release date as well. In the end though, this movie gives the least amount of effort possible. There’s a stereotypical hero who misunderstands her powers. There’s a stereotypical scientist who is torturing kids. There’s a stereotypical Breakfast Club-esque plot of kids coming together. There’s a kid from Stranger Things and another one from Game of Thrones who are way worse than they are in their respective shows because those two shows are dop (at least I have been told Game of Thrones is dope but I have no interest in watching it because draw the line at incest). This movie is just disappointing in general.
8. The Old Guard
On paper, this movie should be great. It has a rich set-up about a group of indestructible soldiers with Charlize Theron leading the charge. I think it had the potential to be something in the vein of John Wick, but something about it never clicked for me. The action is built up to be spectacular but it’s subpar at best with uninteresting vantage points and an awkward number of cuts. Despite an interesting origin story for Theron’s protagonist, we only see it in flashbacks while our A plot follows our hero’s journey to take down some kind of tech billionaire or whatever. Honestly, I can’t even remember the plot, that’s how forgettable it was. Heck, the sequel set up about Theron’s long lost love turning out to be alive is waaaay cooler sounder than this movie.
7. Irresistible
Satires and parodies are both like walking a high wire. You stay on the line and get across, and you’ve done something impressive. But if you fall, you can do a lot of damage. Basically this movie is about a small town that becomes the center of national attention during an election year due a viral youtube video of a retired marine standing up for the marginalized. Both democrats (repped by Steve Carell in the blue corner) and republicans (repped by Rose Byrne in the red corner) dump a large amount of resources in the election, which the town swindles into using to improve their own economic growth. Look the movie was fine until that ending twist I just mentioned which is so laughably funny when it comes from Hollywood, a place where driving a corvette is a sign of poverty (not really, but maybe I’ve never been to Beverly Hills).
6. The Jesus Rules
So apparently, this is a sequel to The Big Lebowski but it’s just about the second most interesting part from the bowling alley scene in the movie. Jon Turturro is awesome, but this ain’t it chief. I honestly can’t remember the plot from this movie at all. It was just a weird odyssey about this secondary dude from The Big Lebowski. If a movie ain’t memorable, don’t watch it.
5. We Can Be Heroes
Do I care that this movie was made for children? No. Do I care that it’s a pseudo-sequel to The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lava Girl? No. Do I care that this director has a thing for trash CGI when he makes kids movies? No. Is the only redeeming thing about this is that it reminded me that Robert Rodriguez directed an episode of The Mandalorian this year? Yes. Kids movies are kids movies, and if this movie entertains your child, fine. Let them watch it. But it appeals to the lowest common demonator. There’s no good moral story. The acting is bad. And the plot is just made up of crappy cliches. If you can’t get Taylor Lautner to show up (who mind you hasn’t done anything since 2018) that’s is probably a bad sign.
4. Infamous
If someone told me there’s a greater contrast between the careers two former Disney channel co-stars than that of Zendaya and Bella Thorne, I wouldn’t believe it. The only thing Zendaya did this year was a special episode of Euphoria that didn’t leave a diner. You pick any five minutes out of that episode, and it blows Infamous out of the water. This movie is like a crappy version of some mix between Spring Breakers met Bonnie and Clyde met Cam or something. It has some intrigue in the plot, but when you throw the selfish desire of trying to get social media famous as well, and I just can’t stand the pretentiousness of this movie
3. The Prom
I’m not gonna pass up an opportunity for self-promotion here. I already wrote about why this movie sucked. James Corden sucks. Merryl Sucks. Nicole Kidman sucks. Did I mention James Corden sucks?
2. The Lie
This. Movie. Is. Wack. If you’ve never heard of it good for you. I don’t even care that I’m gonna spoil this. A teenage girl thinks she killed her best friend. Her divorced parents lose their minds trying to protect her from the cops and the father of the missing girl. Eventually, they go so far as to actually kill the missing girl’s father when they think he’s onto them. While they’re deciding what to do with his body, the missing friend shows up and tells the parents that she and the main character coordinated this whole nonsense so the friend could sneak away to see her boyfriend. The acting isn’t terrible but the writing is so terrible that it made me laugh during the whole thing. For a movie trying to take a serious approach to parenting when your kid screws up, this movie screws up even worse than that.
And the worse of the worst of 2020 is…
I Still Believe
Christian movies do not have a good reputation. While I don’t hate the faith message in I Still Believe what I do hate is the dreamy aura around the movie. Jeremy Camp’s story isn’t exactly sunshine and rainbows. His first wife died of cancer before she turned 22 and right after they had gotten out of college. The man somehow persevered through that and sold millions of albums all while singing our Savior’s praises. That’s a great story. But it’s a tragic story, and for his message of faith to really get across you have to see something near the dark night of the soul. For a trial of belief to be credible we have to watch someone in a bad place where it’s possible for someone to lose those beliefs.
Well, I’ll hopefully have a better list to share with you guys soon. I have no idea how many people read my blog, but I love posting on here. If you love my thoughts please keep coming back.