Blair Witch Project: live-blogging 23 years later
Director: Daniel Myrick and Eduard Sanchez
Writer: Daniel Myrick, Eduardo Sanchez, and Heather Donahue
Starring: Heather Donahue, Michael C. Williams, Joshua Leonard
Reason for watching: 23-year anniversary for this horror classic
Number of times I’ve watched it: twice (few horror movies are worth seeing this many times to me)
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On July 14, 1999, The Blair Witch Project was released in theaters. A staged documentary about three film students perilously journeying into the Maryland woods looking for the Blair Witch, a local urban legend, it instantly became a hit. Part of the film's success was it was marketed as a true story about these young people’s last days lost in the woods. That made people interested in seeing the movie and discovering what the fuss was about. With much of the actual dialogue of the movie being improvised, the interactions between the main cast of Heather (Heather Donahue), Mike (Michael C. Williams), and Josh (Joshua Leonard) felt real, adding to the terror of the story. On its 23rd anniversary, I wanted to rewatch it and live blog about it as I rewatch it. So here are my thoughts as unedited as I can present them (with a few grammatical corrections probably)! Hope you enjoy!
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Okay, so spoiler alert these kids all die at the end. But according to the title card at the beginning the footage was not discovered until a year after they disappeared. That implies that either someone got into the witch’s house without being killed and then dipped with the footage. OR (and I prefer this theory) that the witch managed to take the video camera and other recording equipment out of her house and place it somewhere near the edge of the woods where it could be found by some passersby. Both are equally ridiculous and equally funny to me.
Heather’s narration over the cemetery is very Ken Burns-esque. I feel safe in the smooth narration she provides…even though I know she is dead.
The kid flipping out about her mom telling a story about the Blair Witch and covering her mouth would have been foreboding enough for me to chicken out from this project.
The old lady talking about meeting the witch and her being hairy adds some nice extra detail to the myth of the movie. If she had just said the lady was scary, it would have been much more cliche.
I love Josh preparing for the next day of hiking through the woods means downing a couple of beers. Lol yeah, man! Let’s get dehydrated to prepare for a ton of exercise. Woohoo!
A quick Google search reveals that Josh’s car is a 1987 Dodge Daytona. Another quick search finds you can buy that car for about nine large. You’re welcome for this useless information.
As another dude who has sporadic chest/facial hair placing, I can relate to Mike’s chest hair pattern. Also, I do not care. So why include this?
Once again, I relate to Mike about this whole thing. Not knowing where I’m going on this expedition would definitely be a dealbreaker for me.
Heather’s constant narration would drive me absolutely crazy. “Miss. Shut up. I’m trying to sleep and not crap myself from how scared I am.”
The conversations they have about Gilligan’s Island definitely assured me that these are some entertainment nerds. Unless people just knew more about that show in the 1990s.
“Nobody’s speaking to me at the moment.” Maybe because you will not stop narrating everything you do, Prince Charming from Shrek 2.
I get the home video aspect of this movie, but it would be nice if the camera was not pointed at pitch black for 10 seconds at a time. It’s as if they want me to look at my phone during those scenes. And I don’t need to check Twitter more than I already do.
Cannot believe it took until day three of them wandering in the woods before they all agreed it is time to bounce. After half a day of being lost I would be calling it for myself.
“Hey, I lost the map.” “That is so not cool, man.” Most lowkey response to basically a death sentence.
Mike admitting to kicking the map into the creek is the turning point for this character. Now the only person I like is Josh.
“You betrayed us all.” Relax Cesar.
Stick people hanging up in the woods. The pile of rocks on the ground. When did these kids just give up and accept their fate that they were dead?
“PLEASE HELP US!!!” “That (screaming) is not the way to get us out of here.” Well until you come up with a better idea, Heather then I am good with it.
Let’s just take off running into the middle of the night with none of our supplies or without a weapon because something shook the tent. That’s definitely a better idea than staying in the tent or fighting the thing.
“Because this is America.” has been Heather’s response to questions twice. 100% she voted for George H.W. Bush in 1992.
Singing "The Star-Spangled Banner” is some of the greatest trolling ever by Josh and Mike.
Alright so now I cannot like Josh either with his mocking of Heather. Yeah she messed up, but she just wants to get home too. So I guess all of these kids suck.
Real question: did Josh leave in the middle of the night because the witch took him or because he got sick of being with these other bozos who couldn’t find their way out either? I’m going with the witch option, but either one of them could be real.
WHY DO THESE IDIOTS SMOKE SO MUCH IN THE WOODS?!?!?!?!? EVERYTHING IN THERE IS FLAMEABLE!!
The witch was just trying to be nice with that bundle of sticks because she knew they were cold and wanted to give them something to burn for warmth.
Alright once again heather has gotten worse in my mind for not telling Mike she found a piece of Josh’s shirt and his blood in the woods. Instant grounds for friendship being terminated (as if these guys were ever going to talk to each other if they got out alive).
Heather’s final entry video is probably the best scene in this movie. Definitely some high-quality acting from her here. The sheer terror and hopelessness really grabs you. Makes you remember that these are just kids lost in the woods. The tears going down her face makes it all feel even more real.
Now I’m flipped again and am liking Heather more. Not for her kindness or being a good person. But because she knew not to go into the house. Mike just wanted to find Josh again when it is abundantly clear that dude is dead so he goes blindly into a haunted house. Just another level of stupid right there.
I am glad we never actually see anyone get tortured or gruesomely killed. Gore-based scars are cheap in my opinion. So props for this movie ending with Mike facing the corner as our final shot.
Final rankings for the kids’ likability for me are Josh is the most likable, Heather is in the middle, and Mike is the least likable (although I related to him the most).
This is an all-time classic horror movie that really helped establish the found-footage genre in a lot of ways. There is some good acting in it and the overall feel of the movie and the tension it creates is excellent.
7/10.
Until I see another one.