Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank and other Garbage animated movies
Intro and basic concept
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Director: Chris Bailey, Mark Koetsier, Rob Minkoff (wait, this dude directed The Lion King and he’s doing THIS twenty years later??!!?? Woof)
Writer: Ed Stone, Nate Hopper, Mel Brooks, Norman Steinberg, Andrew Bergman, Richard Pryor (yo…what is he doing here?), Alan Uger (there does not need to be this many writers for a children’s animated movie)
Starring: Michael Cera, Samuel L. Jackson, Ricky Gervais, Kylie Kuioka, Mel Brooks, George Takei, Gabriel Iglesias, Aasif Mandvi, Djimon Hounsou, Michelle Yeoh
Reason for watching: New release
Number of times I’ve watched it: once…and never again
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Okay, I know that last little sentence about the number of times I have watched this makes it sound like I think this is the worst movie since like The Room. It is not. It’s not even the worst movie I have seen this year. (Looking at you, Netflix. Thanks for the cinematic disaster that is Along for the Ride.) But I could tell right away that this movie would not be good. Even its trailer screams this is garbage thrown together to make a few bucks from parents who want to entertain their kids for a few hours without going to Minions.
Right, there’s a plot I should talk about maybe. Hank the dog (Michael Cera) has been commissioned by war lord Ika Chu (Ricky Gervais) to protect a small village of cats. What Hank does not know is that Ika Chu really wants to destroy the village as it is an eye sore from his adjacent place. Having no formal training, Hank is quickly outmatched by the numerous ninjas, henchmen, and thugs who come through his town looking for easy targets to pillage. However, after some training with retired samurai Jimbo (Samuel L. Jackson), Hank’s confidence that he can defend the town improves. Although he still has a lot to learn, Hank is willing to stand up to Ika Chu and has the help of some friends he made along the way.
Now does it really matter that this whole zero-to-hero story has been a million times and a million times better? No. If it entertains children for an hour and a half then the use of that plot is fine by me. But it does keep this from being something I would want to watch repeatedly though. Nothing keeps me invested and curious to see what will happen later on in the movie. Some of the best animated flicks have surprise reveals or twists that kept us on our toes. It would have been nice to see something fresh.
Okay so the plot is lacking. How does Paws of Fury try to make up for it? Humor? I mean there are a few jokes and some slapstick in there, but nothing great. There is an entire minute dedicated to an army all being gassy due to eating a metric ton of beans. Our final takes place on the seat of a giant toilet as well. So maybe not the most clever stuff either. The jokes mostly center around the general incompetence of Hank to protect everyone or how bad people are at their jobs according to Ika Chu. Not wholly original territory but it is fine.
Where this movie really flummoxes me is how it was able to get such a massive cast of a-list talent to sign on to such a mediocre project and then used most of them for almost nothing. Mel Brooks is in this movie, and he has less than ten lines! Michelle Yeoh plays a stereotypical concerned mother with less than five lines! She already did that same role this year and did it great! Djimon Hounsou is an oscar-nominated actor and he plays a sumo wrestler of a cat. What a waste of cast.
The whole movie to me is just a big ball of meh and that’s what makes it worse to me. I’ve gone back and explained different items that I thought were just okay or fine in their own right. But with all the talent they had involved in the cast, it makes me sad that we could not get a better product here. But who cares, Sam? Why does all this matter to you especially if you know this movie was not made with you in mind? Because it is so easy to make reasonable quality animated movies. Pixar is not even trying anymore and they still do well. Dreamworks has been figuring it out slowly since the first Shrek. Even Sony has been hitting their marks recently with Spider-Verse and Mitchells vs. the Machines. Entertaining kids for a few hours should not be that difficult if everyone can do it.
4/10
Until I see another one.