Fatman

Director: Eshom and Ian Nelms

Writer: Eshom and Ian Nelms

Starring: Mel Gibson, Walton Goggins, Marianna Jean-Baptiste, Chance Hurstfield

Reason for watching: first time viewing

Number of times I’ve watched it: once

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(Below is meant to be sung to the tune of “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer”)

You know Tim Allen, Edmund Gwenn, Ed Asner, and Mikey Rooney. George Hamilton, Judd Nelson, Art Carney, and Kurt Russell. But do you recall, the most badass Santa of all? (musical cues ensue)

Mel Gibson is our Santa
In the new film Fatman
He plays a tired, killer St. Nick
For whom I am going to stan
Kringle is giving out more coal
To bad girls and boys
Because they aren’t doing nice things
So he can’t make money off his toys
One day he pisses off a stuckup kid
Who then hires Walton Goggins
(Who plays a deadly hitman)
To take off old Santa’s Noggin
But Santa now works with the government
For whom he is making W.O.M.D.’s
So we get a pretty dope battle
Which truly is the bee’s knees

Alright, that poem took longer than I wanted it to, but it summed up the plot pretty well. Mel Gibson is delightfully angry as Santa. But this movie is so far out of left field that it’s impossible to grab onto. I understand that when you are in movies you are supposed to buy into the concept of “suspension of disbelief.” But if this movie isn’t a weird plot then I do not know what movie does have a weird plot…wait, wait. Cats still has a weird plot regardless.

Okay some generals here. The entire cast of this movie buys into the weirdness of this world, and it pays off very well. The action is actually quite fun at the end. The world building is delightful. Plus there are tons of random moments and details throughout that just tickle you. I looked over at Jane at least five times after a delightfully quirky scene and said, “I love this movie.” It’s worth a watch, and I don’t want to spoil it too much because it truly is a wacky work of art.

6/10

Until I see another one.