The Prom
Director: Ryan Murphy
Writer: Bob Martin, Chad Beguelin, Matthew Sklar, and Jack Viertel
Starring: Meryl Streep, James Corden (this guy suuuucks), Nicole Kidman, Kerry Washington, Keegan-Michael Key, Andrew Rannells, Jo Ellen Pellman, Ariana DeBose
Reason for watching: First time viewing/Hate watch
Number of times I’ve watched it: once, and I promise you I will never watch this again
***
First and foremost, the prom was fun in high school. I have great memories of dancing, getting sweaty, and having fun with my friends. Also there are memories of crappy songs that were popular on Disney Radio or Vine being played instead of just playing “Uptown Funk” a hundred times, which would have been fine with me. Alright, that’s all I have that’s gonna positive in this post. Get ready. I’m gonna go off like Kyrie Irving on the Spurs like 5 years ago.
Basically the plot is about Emma (Jo Ellen Pellman), a high school teenager, who has come out as a lesbian and wants to attend her school prom with her girlfriend Alyssa (Ariana DeBose). However, she lives in a red state state (oh no), and they don’t agree with her values. But instead of barring her from attending prom, the PTA for her high school just decides to cancel the prom instead. When they hear of Emma’s plight, a group of broadway talents head to her town to stand by her side and request the prom be reinstated. However (and SPOILER ALERT) when the prom is reinstated, the ENTIRE TOWN tricks Emma into believing the prom is at the high school gym when it is had been moved to a local hotel ballroom. And from there the group of broadway stars realize they were too pretentious to do any actual help so they turn themselves around and really try to change the opinions of the Indiana townsfolk. Eventually Emma and Alyssa get their prom and enjoy their night together. Oh yeah, and every two minutes there’s another song, and sadly none of them are as good as this gem from Monty Python.
The characters are thin as a crepe and their motivations are either completely altruistic or selfish as can be. The caricatures these broadway characters are exist only remind me of the way-to-into-it theater kids from my alma mater. Merryl Streep is self centered and annoying. Nicole Kidman is far too optimistic and annoying. Andrew Rannels is condescending and annoying. AND JAMES CORDEN WHOSE CONTINUED EXISTENCE AS A MOVIE STAR ANNOYS ME MORE THAN WHEN MY CONTACT LENSE SLIPS OFF MY PUPIL!!!! Keegan-Michael Key is fine, but he has nothing to do to compliment his talents. The two female leads are fine too, but again they have nothing to do! But all of this points to something even worse than the bad performances.
This movie is aimless.
Look if the point of the movie is to discuss inclusion and the pain that less progressive mindsets can cause to minorities, then the quality of writing to bring out Anna’s pain is not there. We hear that her parents kicked her out of the house for being lesbian, but we never see them. There are no moments of quiet reflection. Sob stories are a plenty, but we can’t connect with any of these characters as every one of them gets a story. In between those seemingly unending songs, there is a new story to pull on your heart strings. The pattern is excessively repetitive.
Conversely, if the point of the movie (and I really don’t believe what I’m about to suggest) is to act as a satire about the arrogance of celebrity, the movie isn’t tongue in cheek enough about it. It doesn’t make it clear enough if we are supposed to being laughing at the actions of these people or cheering them on.
Look I’ve already thought about this movie more than the writers did. It’s not worth your time.
2/10
Until I see another one.